Garrosh Hellscream (from WoW)

A quick apology for the lateness and out-of-sync posting (see newspost).

No celebration of Cataclysm could be remotely complete without discussing Garrosh.  He is perhaps the most polarizing figure of the expansion. Oh, a minor note.  To keep the tin-foil hats on, you know how I’ve mentioned how Warcraft rips A LOT from Babylon 5? Well the Orcs are similar to the Narn in B5, a warrior race that was conquered and enslaved by an enemy (the Humans/Centauri).  Once their freedom is gained they are led by a leader who is deeply spiritual and tries to teach them to un-hate every other race (Thrall/G’Kar).  Upon leaving his people, the pacifist leader turns control over to a more militant leader (Garrosh/Ta’lon).  G’Kar actually puts it more eloquently, “To represent our people one must be equal parts warrior and priest.  As of late I have been more priest than warrior.  Perhaps it is time for one who is more warrior than priest.”  Just something to think about when you want to praise the “genius” of Metzen.

Personally, I think Garrosh is just another step in Warcraft.  Warcraft is a game that evolves.  That’s why it’s been able to murder its competition.  The story is no different.  Garrosh doesn’t bother me -as- Garrosh because, well, he’s so insubstantial.  We have seen him about 5 times since Burning Crusade.  Once he was an emo brat in Nagrand, twice we watched Thrall tell him “You disappoint me”, once he was told by Saurfang that Saurfang would kill him before he allowed Garrosh to influence the Horde, and once he was a trigger happy prick in TOC blaming the Alliance for the warlock hired by Tirion.

I can assure you all, that I am JUST as impressed with Garrosh in Cataclysm as I was the previous times (see what I did thar?).

That having been said, I despise Garrosh.  Not for BEING Garrosh, but what he did to the universe.  Specifically, what he did to Thrall.

Thrall must have had a temporary lobotomy at some point after the Cataclysm, because his very first words of the expansion are “(Horde and Alliance) must put aside their differences to save our world!”.

I think we're done here

Needless to say, when you picked the guy who said “Why do you mourn the Draenei children you killed? They would just become our enemies.”, and your entire reign as Warchief has been to MEND the divisions between Alliance and Horde and bring as many races as possible into the Horde, something’s NOT RIGHT.

Let’s go back to that quote though. Here’s the scene in its entirety (if you never had the patience to sit through it at Warsong Hold).

High Overlord Saurfang says: I drank of the same blood your father did, Garrosh. Mannoroth‘s cursed venom pumped through my veins as well. I drove my weapons into the bodies and minds of my enemies. And while Grom died a glorious death – freeing us all from the blood curse – he could not wipe away the terrible memory of our past. His act could not erase the horrors we committed.
High Overlord Saurfang says: The winter after the curse was lifted, hundreds of veteran orcs like me were lost to despair. Our minds were finally free, yes… Free to relive all of the unthinkable acts that we had performed under the Legion‘s influence.
High Overlord Saurfang nods.
High Overlord Saurfang says: I think it was the sounds of the draenei children that unnerved most of them… You never forget… Have you ever been to Jaggedswine Farm? When the swine are of age for the slaughter… It’s that sound. The sound of the swine being killed… It resonates the loudest. Those are hard times for us older veterans.
Garrosh Hellscream says: But surely you cannot think that those children were born into innocence? They would have grown up and taken arms against us!
High Overlord Saurfang shakes his head.
High Overlord Saurfang says: I am not speaking solely of the children of our enemies…
High Overlord Saurfang says: I won’t let you take us down that dark path again, young Hellscream. I’ll kill you myself before that day comes…

Thrall, I am concerned.  Why did you think that THIS would be the leader and not Varok Saurfang?  Did Jaina slip one too many happy pills into your oatmeal that morning?  Let’s remember it’s Varok who, in the Burning Crusade, has to remind Thrall not to rush out to Outland to talk to their brethren, that he has responsibility in Orgrimmar.  AND, after his FUCKING SON DIES, it’s Varok who again reminds Thrall that his duty is to his people above all else.

But, this isn’t about “Gee who was the LOGICAL choice for Warchief?” because Metzen doesn’t deal in logic.

Now, Garrosh defenders will quickly leap up and say “But Garrosh is a normal Orc, he’s more like a traditional Orc than Thrall since he was raised by Humans.”

Three problems with this.  In order of what pisses me off.

One, the people who USE this argument are usually the same kinds of people who say Bush stole the election.  Even though Bush carried majority opinions on pretty much every single issue in American politics.  Pro-gun, pro-life, pro-war, pro-death pentalty, anti-gay marriage, etc. (believe it or not, those are the -simple majority- stances of the country.)  We could also say maybe Metzen’s making a parody OF Bush with Hellscream.  I wouldn’t put it past him that he thinks it’s clever.

Two, we know for a GOD DAMNED FACT that Garrosh’s pro-war opinion is NOT the only one in Orcish culture.  I’ve already given you Varok’s opinion on the matter.  There is also the Lost Isles where at least one Orc shouts “Show these alliance scum the might of the TRUE Warchief!”, and Thralls contact with Goblin players talks in hushed tones about Thrall, implying that somehow, Thrall’s name is an unmentionable word.  Like Garrosh has banned all discussion of him like he were Mufasa.  And when Varian declares war on the Horde, Thrall says “The dreams of Doomhammer are gone”.  This is NOT just Thrall’s little delusion.

Three, GARROSH DIDN’T DRINK FUCKING MANNOROTH’S BLOOD! There is NO reason for him to be a war mongerer.  One of the reasons the Orcs in Outland are hesitant to align themselves with the Horde is because of how war like they are.  They don’t trust the violent tendencies they have.  The only reason Garrosh should be as hot headed as he is is to imitate his father. Which kind of puts a scary spin on it if the only reason he’s willing to fight a war and segregate the other Horde races is because he has Daddy issues.  It’s true that the Orcs have a warrior tradition, but so do the Tauren, and the Night Elves, and the Dwarves, and the Humans (in significance proportionate to their other beliefs) and the only racial leaders who even remotely look like Garrosh are Varian Wrynn, who was psychologically traumatized, and Tyrande-Captian-Janeway-Whisperwind, and like Garrosh, they are exceptions, not the rule.  Well, maybe Malfurion is the exception to the Night Elves since the only other racial leader we see is Azshara.  It was only after they drank the blood of Mannoroth that the Orcs saw war as the THE ONLY goal, and only AFTER then did they see the Draenei as a threat.  So why is Garrosh happy killing Draenei children?  “He was raised an Orc” my fucking ass, he should be a celery eating pussy like the rest of them.

That reminds me.  Why does he have to look like our very special friend?  It’s like a frog had a baby with a lawn mower. I like my Warchief to look intimidating, not like he’s trying to remember where he left his pants, and why he’s suddenly not wearing them.

Me could swear it not get that big with other men before

There is speculation tha-OKAY who the HELL thought that was intimidating?  I MEAN REALLY.  ‘Cuz I’m NOT intimidated, Chris, I’m only embarrassed for you, honestly.  I have to look away whenever his fat mug is on screen because the only emotion that model illicits from me is EMBARRASSMENT for you. Sigh.  The leader of the entire fucking Horde, is a MOUTH BREATHER.  Did you walk into the design studio with a picture of Rodney Dangerfield and say “Make this our warchief”? GAWD.

There is speculation that Blizzard wants to split the factions in a future expansion, and for the Horde this is laying the foundation.  For the life of me I can’t decide who would side with who.  With Orgrimmar troops garrisoned in Undercity, Sylvanas would probably have to stay with the Horde.But after that who knows.  Vol’jin would almost definitely be in the split.  And the Tauren, by default, would have to stick to the Horde (to keep druids on all factions.) Likewise the Elves would probably split to keep paladins even.  That just leaves the Goblins to split town.  Though then what do you do with everyone who wanted to stay Horde of those three races? If you’re Blizzard you probably do what you normally do, “It’s working as inten-…oh, um, we think this will open new opportunities for the community!”

Gaarrosh is fostering a culture that encourages corruption.  Even the cooking dailies, where you steal rice from the Troll slums.  It’s not even like the Stormwind one, where you’re stealing catfish from fishermen.  You’re stealing rice, from TROLLS, the Horde quest specifically singles them out BECAUSE of their race.  Troll children!  And I call bullshit on that.  As I said in the last review, the Horde is just reveling in how evil it is.

This might be an attempt to “even the scales” as last expansion it was the Alliance who came out as the big tit-rags.  Well, yeah, but they kind of NEED to be a LITTLE more dickish, because of inherent Human racism.  Check the census.  The more Human-like races are the most played.  Humans are the top race (not Blood Elves, usually).  Occaisionally Belves will take the top spot (as the “Humans” of the Horde).  As of right now, the %s are, from levels 1-85:

Humans: 16

Blood Elves: 13

Night Elves: 12

Worgen: 10

Draenei: 8

Tauren: 8

Forsaken: 7

Goblin: 6

Orc: 6

Troll: 6

Dwarf: 5

Gome: 5

Racism.  This is PRE 4.0.6, or as I like to call it, the last Beta patch.  I hope.  So the overpowered Alliance racials don’t have ANYTHING to do with it.  That’s pure aesthetics.  The more dis-Human the race gets, the “less pretty”, the lower the numbers (though, I like Goblin, Gnome, and Dwarf girls myself =3).  Even the GOBLINS, who every hardcore Horde player was excited for, lag way behind the Worgen by nearly 2-to-1.

Why bring this up? Because the Alliance needs all the help it can get to make the faction differences shades of gray.  And, fuck, in Cata, Varian’s mostly OVER his goose-stepping.  He came to terms with it (kind of >.>) between expansions.  So really, the ONLY one coming off as an asshole is Garrosh.

Garrosh: Poorly written, poorly planned, forcefully inserted, like Grom’s dick up Thrall’s butt, because that’s the only conceivable reason he got the job.


3 Responses to “Garrosh Hellscream (from WoW)”

  1. […]  Thrall, Warcraft3 Thrall, would never have let Garrosh become Warchief (see my explanation here), his focus since we’ve KNOWN his character has been to elevate his people above the savage […]

  2. Tidecrawler Says:

    Garrosh is far from being a lovable character. This past Blizzcon a lot of people expressed their distaste of him to Metzen. To which he replied that Garrosh’s ascension to power had nothing to do with his story but rather served as a development drive for Thrall.

    If that’s the case, we might see some very interesting things happening to Thrall in the near future 🙂

    • Hopefully Garrosh will raise an army, take over Orgrimmar, butt out all “opposition” and Thrall with help from the less-douchey Alliance de-throne him after Thrall gets pissed off at Garrosh over wanting too much power. It will be a pretty good Boss fight with the risen-from-the-dead former great leaders of the Horde to assist him like Gul’Dan and Ner’Zhul. Orgrimmar will be a Raid like no other, having the entire city a battleground.

      After that, the only boss I want to fight is Sargeras.


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